Merry Christmas?

            

      Well, it's that time of year again. The season to be jolly, and merry and bright... or so they say. I will have to say that this year has NOT felt like Christmas. Not even a little. Actually, the entire "holiday season" has been out of sorts. For starters, we were living with a house full of boxes during Thanksgiving. I could not decorate for Christmas on Thanksgiving night, like I ALWAYS do. I didn't get to watch the Lighting of the Macy's tree and listen to Christmas carols with the kids while we drink hot cocoa and decorate our Christmas tree. These are always my favorite memories. I didn't get to hang the stockings or string the lights. Well, at least not when I normally do it. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for moving and our new home. I just didn't get to do it the way I like to.
I have not sent our Christmas cards, or even had a chance to THINK about them! And as many of you know, I put a lot of time and effort into those! I am pretty bummed about that. (Look foward to New Year's cards though). I have rushed and hustled around to try and get Christmas gifts bought- also unlike me... I prefer to be done by Thanksgiving with shopping and things all perfectly planned and in order. Not this year though. No way. I was too caught up in boxes and packing tape. Which brings me to my next thought...

What is Christmas really? What is it truly about? I had quite a moment last Saturday while I was out rushing about buying gifts. The kids were scattered about and Kevin was off work and at home with Kennedy, so I took the rare moment to leave and head to Hampton to shop. I chose the center off Highway 20 which includes Hobby Lobby, Toys R Us, TJ Maxx and Acadamey... all the stores I needed in one parking lot. Bam. When I was done, my trunk was full of bags and boxes. I was backing out of my parking spot and headed out when I noticed the car in front of me. The car was so full of toys, boxes and bags, I could not see the driver. Or anything for that matter. Just boxes. It hit me. Like a ton of bricks. The Lord lifted the blinders off my eyes and I remembered what a selfish country we live in. I rememered how we spend $1000's of dollars on uneccesary items for each other every Christmas, when so many live without even food or fresh drinking water. We pile our homes and garages full of junk year after year and don't even think twice about 3rd world countries full of sickness and children with no shoes on there feet. We send a shoebox or two to Operation Christmas Child and pat ourselves on the back- "we have done a great thing for Christmas." We live so selfishly. Myself included. We get caught up in our own little world, our own people and places and things. But oh how WRONG we are!! How far away from walking like Jesus could we be! Especially at Christmas! I had all these thoughts in a split moment in that parking lot. I wanted to turn right back around and return every single thing I just bought. I couldn't believe how selfish I was being. So many others in need and my family wants for nothing. Yet there I sat in that parking lot with hundreds of others needing nothing and buying everything.

The parable of the rich young man comes to mind. "Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me." But when the young man heard this statement, he went away grieving; for he was one who owned much property.…" Matthew 19:21-22 
Oh Lord may I not be that young man! May I not hang my head and walk away grieving because I own too much! 

I have seen true poverty. Not only here in the United States, but in Uganda too. In some of the most remote villages in the world. Places with holes in the ground for bathrooms. Places with mud huts to live in. Children and adults who had never even SEEN a white person. Women with no shirts or shoes. What a life changing experience to see how others in this world live. I think if you could visit a place like this you would see. You would understand. I left many of my belongings there for those people. My shirts and shoes and dresses. They had so little, and I had so much! I pray for my heart to remember. To remember how much others have and how much I have to give! I pray that for you too. 

We just bought a new house. Our old house was fine. It was paid for. It was far more than many others have. We could use more space, but we were making do. I find myself feeling a little guilty for this new house. It's so nice and has so much land. I feel greedy sometimes for buying it. But I am reminded that the Lord will use my home and my family for His kingdom. We have so many more opportunities to have others in our home now. So many ways we can love on others in our community here!

So what is Christmas? It is definitely not what I thought. Not this year. This year, Christmas is not only about the birth of our Savior, but it's about giving. It's about giving of ourselves, our time and our money. Giving to those who are truly in need. Those who need to feel God's love. I want nothing more than to be the servant of my Lord who reaches out and touches those who are poor. Poor in spirit or in wealth. Those who need love. Lord, may I have this spirit, the spirit of giving the whole year through!